AMERICA NEEDS A DIET

i

hate

corn

corn causes everything that i hate, such as fat and war. corn is monumental and tragic waste. the rest of the world hates our stupid corn. here is my fantasy. for example on tuesday somebody im guessing the president of zimbabwe announced that the price of corn in zimbabwe is up 700%. it didn't say from what, but basically people in zimbabwe are hungry. okay so my fantasy right is that everyone in america stops growing monoculture corn. africa becomes center of corn production. what we need for africa to stop having aids, etc, grow nice and happy(er) like say china for example is to have america completely dependent on it. that is the only way anything will actually get done. okay so land becomes reclaimed by small farmers or maybe we can plant trees on it. okay not enough small farmers you say. well so teach them. americans briefly experience what they believe is a quality-of-life reduction on account of economic upheavals but quickly realize, as pounds melt off their wan, tubby bodies, that this is all for the best. a new manifest destiny, a new opening of the west! de-urbanization! thomas jefferson for a new generation! former coca-cola and mcdonalds execs, deprived of the raw materials for their evil empires, flee to paraguay to live with last remaining nazis. i am not suggesting a conspiracy here, only an affinity.